Showing posts from December, 2018

A Letter From Your Computer

You look really sexy in that...thing you've got on tonight. I like the way your eyes are always open when you read your E-mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist tinkling on her keys. You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on. If I wasn't a computer, I'd show you what "Hard Drive" really means! But Alas, I'm only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying your every command. Yes, mistress! I'll balance your checkbook. Yes, Mistress! I'll run your silly little program. Don't get me wrong...I like theMaster/Slave thing, but maybe just once in a while you could show some compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in, you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off when you're through, we could talk for a while afterwards? I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I am different! I may be a little slow, but

1776 [if they had computers back then]

Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that we complete this declaration of independence. Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here. Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday? Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replication problems. Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy Mr. Sherman: Thanks, Saaaaay, nice font. Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just last week Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our document will soon leak out. Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a bootleg circulating. I saw it posted on last night. Mr. Franklin: @#$$%^$# General Protection Fault! Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved that problem for me. Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretend