Eugene's Funnies

1. If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.   2. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.   3. If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source.  Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.   4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.   5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.   6. It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.   7. When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.   8. When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room and look for a package.   9. The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't translate Engl

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.   Don't get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.   I used to come here all the time with my ex.   I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.   Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.   I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.   It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.