Showing posts from December, 2021


1. If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx. 2. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot beresolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. 3. If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hookit to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed withwater. 4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier. 5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet. 6. It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat. 7. When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there. 8. When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room and look for a package. 9. The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't

The Book of Creation

Chapter 1 1 In the beginning God created Dates. 2 And the date was Monday, July 4, 4004 BC. 3 And God said, let there be light; and there was light. And when there was Light, God saw the Date, that it was Monday, and he got down to work; for verily, he had a Big Job to do. 4 And God made pottery shards and Silurian mollusks and pre-Cambrian limestone strata; and flints and Jurassic Mastodon tusks and Pithecanthropus erectus skulls and Cretaceous placentals made he; and those cave paintings at Lasceaux. And that was that, for the first Work Day. 5 And God saw that he had made many wondrous things, but that he had not wherein to put it all. And God said, Let the heavens be divided from the earth; and let us bury all of these Things which we have made in the earth; but not too deep. 6 And God buried all the Things which he had made, and that was that. 7 And the morning and the evening and the overtime were Tuesday 8 And God said, Let there be water; and let the dry land appear;