Bachelor Diet

Monday

Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth.

Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox.

Afternoon Snack - Drink the Maalox.

Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

Tuesday

Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw.

Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

Dinner -Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

Wednesday

Breakfast - Stomach couldn't handle breakfast after a night at El Flasho's.

Lunch - Rolaids and a coke.

Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.

Thursday

Breakfast - Order out for pizza.

Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

Dinner - Go to a bar. Ask the bartender for extra olives.

Friday

Breakfast - Eggs, sausage and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder.

Dinner - Steak, medium-rare, baked potato and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

Saturday

Breakfast - Sleep through it.

Lunch - Ditto.

Dinner - Steak,well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Don't eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

Sunday

Breakfast - Three Bloody Mary's and a Twinkie.

Lunch - Eat Lunch? And waste a good buzz?

Dinner - Chicken noodle soup. Call home and ask about renting your old room.

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