12 Things NOT to Say if Pulled Over

  1. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
  2. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
  3. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
  4. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
  5. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.
  6. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.
  7. Want to race to the station, Sparky?
  8. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
  9. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.
  10. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!
  11. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
  12. No, YOU assume the position.

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