"If it" Office Advice

If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly.

If it clanks, call the repairman.

If it whistles, ignore it.

If it is a friend, take a break.

If it is the boss, look busy.

If it talks, take notes.

If it is handwritten, type it.

If it is typed, copy it.

If it is copied, file it.

If it is Friday, forget it!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

JOB DESCRIPTION FOR MUMS:

Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES: Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing. Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus. Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, "He got more than me!&quo
Read more

10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer!

T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws) 'Sit' and 'stay' were hard enough; 'delete' and 'save' are out of the question. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work. Carpal Paw Syndrome. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he`s browsing www.purina.com or the '50 ways to skin a cat' sites. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrates. Can`t help attacking the screen when he hears, 'you`ve got mail'. Too messy to mark every Web site he visits. Fetch command not available on all platforms. Can`t stick his head out of Windows 98.
Read more

Bachelor Diet

Monday Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth. Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox. Afternoon Snack - Drink the Maalox. Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. Tuesday Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw. Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner -Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. Wednesday Breakfast - Stomach couldn't handle breakfast after a night at El Flasho's. Lunch - Rolaids and a coke. Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps. T
Read more